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There is one rule in the parenting bible which I break on a regular basis. I do it whenever I use the “see-that-man-over-there” tactic. ‘That man over there’ gets angry when my kids misbehave. Any grim looking individual will do provided he looks the sort that can shout a bit. OK, I know that I’m abdicating the responsibility for disciplining my kids and that, in certain circles, such an action is unforgivable, but if I didn’t do it once in a while, my life would be spent couped up inside my house.
Last week however, this marvellous cop-out let me down badly.
My two-year-old has discovered the joys of standing in the seat of the supermarket trolley and threatening to jump. Visits to the shop had denigrated into a delicate balancing act of restraining her while at the same time loading up the trolley. Not an easy feat. A weekly shop took a week to complete.
AND THEN THEY INSTALLED A BARNEY RIDE!
So my ‘man-over-there’ routine, which had been wearing a bit thin, was immediately replaced by, “Look, Barney is watching you, he won’t let you play on him if you keep being bold.” (I know, I know, you should never tell a child she’s bold) Anyway, this threat became my salvation. No more suicidal jumps were attempted.
Last week, however, my darling daughter, who had been a paragon of good-behaviour, was all set for fun and frolics on Barney. Up she jumped and holding out her hand asked me for the fifty pence to make him go. (Even she knows there is no such thing as a free ride).
Only thing was, in my rush to become a good European, I had no Irish money left. And at two years of age my daughter was unable to grasp the finer points of our new currency. All hell broke loose. She kicked and screamed and refused to get off the ride. I ended up hauling her out of the shops, under my arm, while pushing a massive trolley which looked in serious danger of toppling over.
A packet of sweets later and she’d calmed down sufficiently enough to say “Bold Barney” and “Bold Mammy” in rapid succession.
So, no matter what you think of Barney, he is a dinosaur – he wasn’t prepared for the euro. But then again, it’s not his problem, he is an American.